They say that you become like the people you spend the most time with. I love the people I interact with each day and week. But I am eager to stretch. I love to be challenged. Learning lights me up.

When I read a book, I have an opportunity to spend time with incredible thinkers who are giving me the distillation of the most insightful ideas they have. Reading the right books points me toward better ways of thinking, acting, and being. So I read. A lot.

In 2023, I completed 35 books. I started and then dropped a handful of others… I’m not prepared to waste valuable time reading a book that isn’t offering me anything – although I always give every book at least 50 pages. And of those books, the 12 below were the ones I found most valuable, entertaining, insightful, or inspiring.

Note – this list is completely subjective. You might think I’m crazy for liking them. And as I mention every year:

• Just because a book is on the list doesn’t mean I agree with everything in it. It’s on the list because of how it made me think, how it challenged me, how it taught me, or because I actually did love it.
• I don’t only read the latest books to hit bookshelves. I read old stuff and new stuff.

If the book is on the list, it’s worth the $35-$40 to own it and devour it. (If you don’t have the cash, it’s worth the trip to the library). But mostly, if it’s on the list, it’s worth the 10-20 hours of your valuable time. The investment will be worth it – and it’s that investment that carries way more weight than a few dollars for a book.

(You can read my favourites from 2022, 2021, 2020, and 2019 here.)

Get into these ones this year and tell me how you love them. My favourite books for 2023 in no particular order are:

SILAS MARNER

by George Eliot

Written in 1861, I was unsure if I really wanted to read this book. It sat on my shelf for about three years before I finally decided that now was the time to read Silas Marner – and I am so glad I did. My life is better because of this novel. Telling the story of a set-up and falsely accused weaver who leaves his town and becomes a recluse following a horrible incident, Silas Marner is sublimely written and entirely absorbing. The characters are well rounded. The time and place fit together so well. Eliot’s understanding of the psychology of those characters whose story she tells is deep and rich. And the narrative – so very good. I felt, upon closing the book, that Eliot had written the perfect story. Just beautiful.

Buy it here: Silas Marner

THE CASE AGAINST THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION

by Louise Perry

Perry ambitiously takes on sacred cows (and occasionally slays them with precision) in this book arguing that the sexual revolution, rather than improving life for women and enhancing their protection, has done precisely the opposite. But it’s not a regressive book arguing for a return to the 1950s. Nor is it a book that argues for a religiously-oriented morality. In fact, I found it both deliciously and frustratingly ambivalent towards the impact that thousands of years of Judeo-Christian roots have had on us today. Instead, it’s a generally agnostic essay/debate that describes how women have been conned by the sexual revolution, and that the norms and mores that have developed out of it place women right where men (and this means highly sexually motivated men with selfish motivations) want them. Perry argues against the modern standards of sex and pornography, makes the claim that consent is a low bar, and argues for delayed intimacy in relationships because it’s actually better for women. And while there are so many things I wish she’d been able to include that would have built upon her arguments, this was a strong work (with strong themes and a warning for sensitive eyes) that should be compulsory reading for anyone interested in women’s wellbeing and improving sexual, relational, and psychological health for girls and women, regardless of political preferences.

Buy it here: The Case Against the Sexual Revolution

TESTOSTERONE

by Carole Hooven

Simply brilliant. And left me feeling entirely inadequate in terms of my understanding, comprehension, and knowledge. The book tackles the breadth and depth of all we know about the hormone that defines and divides us. In the current environment it’s a brave book to write. And it’s done superbly.

Buy it here: Testosterone

EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAS KILLED SOMEONE

by Benjamin Stevenson

I’m not that into fiction. And I’m definitely not into crime. But this is a book that I received for Christmas in 2022 and I read it early in 2023. I read it in one sitting. Couldn’t put it down. I’m not going to give an overview of the plot. I’ll simply emphasise that the characters, the story, and the entire book pulled me in, hooked me, and didn’t let me go until it was over. A brilliant, original, completely compelling novel. Loved this book. So much fun.

Buy it here: Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone

THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD

by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

There’s a reason this is one of the most loved parenting books of the past decade. Concise. Simple. Practical. Loved this book. If you haven’t read it yet, dive in. It will remain relevant for at least another decade.

Buy it here: The Whole-Brain Child

WINNERS TAKE ALL

by Anand Giridharadas

Former McKinsey consultant who has spoken and studied with the elite crew at Aspen and TED launches a blistering critique of the elite class and how they seek to use their wealth to look good in their philanthropy without changing the status quo. Hard to read, challenging with its views, and also frustrating in the lack of real solutions, I nevertheless am glad to read it and be stretched by it. Our world is a mess and a large part of it comes down to the global financial elites and their unholy grip on power and influence. This book shines an uncomfortable spotlight right where it needs to.

Buy it here: Winners Take All

SAVING OUR KIDS

by Madonna King

Madonna King is well known for a variety of books about how to best help our children thrive. Fathers and Daughters, Being 14, and a range of others have all been directed at parents with a view to improving family life. But this one is different. The explosion of sextortion, online capping (capturing indecent content involving kids), and the build up of dark web actors with evil intent for our children is captured in this book with Madonna’s journalistic expertise and practical solutions for parents who know their kids are at risk online but aren’t sure how, or what to do about it. Saving our kids is the best I’ve read from Madonna. Vitally important.

Buy it here: Saving our Kids

GENERATIONS

by Jean Twenge

I’ve typically chafed and pushed against the idea that we can make a sweeping generalisation about an entire generation of people and then compare then to other generations. I’ve also struggled with the idea that you can create an arbitrary cutoff date that indicates you’re a part of the Boomer or Gen X or Millenial Generation. It’s always been a point of irritation when demographers tackle this topic. I’d go so far as to say I hate it. So when Twenge (pronounced “twangy”) wrote this book I picked it up so I could ‘hate-read’ it. How wrong I was. While a little too American and not quite global enough for me, this was still an opus. Superbly written, critically insightful, and effective in addressing almost every concern I had, I took so much from this brilliant book. Read it and understand the world better!

Buy it here: Generations

FINDING THE WORDS

by Colin Campbell

I never wanted to read a book about grief. While important, I didn’t think I would be able to really relate to the tale of a man and his wife whose two teen children were taken from them by a high, drunk driver who sped through an intersection and tore a car – and a family – apart. But my podcast producer, Craig, heard Colin in an interview and wanted me to have him on my podcast. To honour him, I had to read the book. While I was preparing to interview Colin, my nephew, just 20-years-old, took his own life. And I suddenly experienced a profound loss and its accompanying grief in ways I never fathomed. The words of the book a literal godsend to me and my family. It’s not perfect. And it doesn’t always provide answers that will work for everyone. But it’s a remarkable attempt to help from someone who knows. The book is a balm to anyone who wants to know how to handle loss.

Buy it here: Finding the Words

COME AS YOU ARE

by Emily Nagoski

A few years ago Kylie (my wife) read this book. She told me most of what was in there. But I knew I had to read it for myself. This is a book about female pleasure. It’s a book that is designed to improve everything about intimacy in a couple relationship. And it’s a book I’d recommend to every woman… and every man.

Buy it here: Come as You Are

THE EMOTIONAL LIVES OF TEENAGERS

by Lisa Damour

There are few people who speak about parenting that I engage with and enjoy. It’s a case of diminishing returns… I know a good deal of what most will say. The science is something I’ve spent my life absorbing and sharing. I tend to prefer reading things that aren’t parenting, for that reason. (Plus, many parenting books are not only lacking in originality. They’re often less than theoretically sound.) But this one is worth your time. It’s built on a firm foundation. Covering a lot of ground in an easy-to-read way, Lisa makes some complicated science simple for every parent. Super helpful ideas. Great scripting. Overall outstanding.

Buy it here: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers

GUNS, GERMS & STEEL

by Jared Diamond

I’ve heard – from so many people – that this book is the one that must be read to understand the world. And… it’s fabulous. Diamond reviews the history of migration, development, language, writing, domestication of food and animals, war, domination, and other forms of human progress since the last ice-age 13 000 years ago. The theories he proposes are compelling. The writing is engaging. And the book is illuminating. I loved it. It made me see the world differently, and had me asking questions I would never have thought to ask before I read it.

Buy it here: Guns, Germs & Steel

Hope you enjoyed the list and it gives you some inspiration for your next book splurge. Let me know if you try any of them and tell me what you thought.

I’ll drop another list in December to point you to the next pile of must-read books I can’t get enough of.