Breaking the Silence: Confronting Sexual Harassment Among Students

A mother recently reached out to me, devastated by what her daughter has endured in her first year of high school. Instead of excitement and learning, this 12-year-old girl had been subjected to sexual threats, including rape threats, from a classmate—on school laptops and during school hours. Shockingly, this is the second time this year she has faced such harassment, yet the boys responsible had, according to this mum, faced little more than a “slap on the wrist.”

The police confirmed that these threats were illegal. And yet, the boy remained in her class. The school’s response? They encouraged the mother to contact law enforcement and praised her for standing up for her daughter. But words without action are meaningless. The girl, now fearful and disillusioned, declared that she “doesn’t want to be part of the school system ever again.”

(At time of publication I received word that the boy who was the central perpetrator of those threats had moved schools – and received farewell cards signed by everyone to wish him luck.)

Schools Are Sending the Wrong Message

When schools allow boys who make sexual threats to remain in class with their victims, they are making a value judgement. They are saying that a boy’s uninterrupted education matters more than a girl’s right to learn without fear. They’re wrong.

The harsh reality is that schools pile hormone-fueled, underdeveloped brains into confined spaces and then act shocked when problematic behaviour emerges. Add to that the easy access to pornography, cultural beliefs that normalise sexualised behaviour in boys, and (sadly) parents who refuse to confront their sons’ actions, and we create an environment where this behaviour thrives.

Three Uncomfortable Truths:

1. Schools that respond weakly to sexual harassment aren’t neutral—they are complicit in teaching boys that predatory behaviour carries minimal consequences.
2. Girls are leaving education because adults in power have decided that their trauma is an acceptable cost of doing business.
3. Every girl who leaves school due to harassment represents a failure of our entire education system, not just an individual institution.

What Needs to Change:

• Schools must respond with consequences proportionate to the harm caused.
• Boys engaging in harassment need immediate, intensive intervention focused on responsibility and empathy.
• There must be clear pathways for boys to repair the harm caused—not just “do their time.”
• Schools must provide robust support to victims, prioritising their continued access to education.
• Parents must demand accountability from school leadership with the same ferocity they bring to academic concerns.

This Isn’t an Isolated Incident

Since sharing this story, my inbox has been flooded with messages from parents and students across Australia with eerily similar experiences. 

• A 5-year-old girl sexually assaulted in her school uniform by boys in her class
• A 15-year-old girl threatened with rape after rejecting a boy’s advances (in her class)
• A group of 20 Grade 10 boys sharing an image of a girl under 12 being sexually assaulted – as entertainment
• And lastly, Perth boys openly discussing plans to sexually assault female teachers and students.

Beyond these terrible stories, I have to point to:

• Year 10 and 11 boys in Melbourne who board public transport, voices raised in unison, chanting about women being “holes in the road” they’d “fill with their load.” 
• Private-school senior boys in Sydney who create a points-based challenge for their Year 12 muck-up day. For 10 points: “scream… ‘penis’ on public transport as loud as possible (must turn heads), buy an item from a sex shop, get with an Asian chick, play porn out loud on public transport (pretend you have your headphones in and you don’t notice), and hook up with a random girl”. If they take a “vodka shot out of a condom (halfway full), get with a lesbian, order a stripper, do a naked shoey, smoke your mates pubes, get with a chick which is 3/10 or lower (photo of the chick + the dirty work), perform a sex scene on the stairs of a church, with a person ‘finishing’ loudly” they’re awarded 30 points. These are acts so obscene they’ll accrue 200 points. Their code: “Protect each other at all costs.”

It continues. Boys create Instagram accounts sexualising primary school girls. Girls report being groped in class, kissed without consent at bus stops, and trapped in window seats by boys who deliberately invade their space.

These cases highlight a systemic failure where:

• Schools prioritise “peacekeeping” over justice and safety.
• Perpetrators face minimal consequences while victims suffer lifelong effects.
• Parents make excuses for their sons instead of holding them accountable.

The Solution: Immediate, Decisive Action

1. Remove the perpetrator immediately. No girl should be forced to share a classroom with her harasser. Former principal Warren Melville got it right when parents claimed their son “needs to go to school” after threatening a classmate. His response: “Yes, he does. But it won’t be here.”
2. End the parental excuses. ADHD, autism, or “boys being boys” are not justifications for predatory behaviour. Did your son threaten or assault a classmate? No, it’s not his ADHD. No, it’s not autism. No, it’s not “boys being boys.” It’s predatory behaviour that YOU must address.
3. Separate victim and perpetrator permanently. We would never expect an adult to return to a workplace with their sexual assaulter. Why do we force children to do this? It’s not the victim who should be changing schools.
4. Parents—wake up: Know what’s on your child’s devices. Know who he talks to. Know what he watches. Have the difficult conversations about pornography’s toxic influence. Be in his life before he becomes someone else’s nightmare.
5. Establish clear, meaningful consequences for sexual harassment. A mere apology letter or a brief suspension is not enough.
6. Schools—choose sides: Every weak response tells boys exactly what you value. Right now, you’re telling them a boy’s uninterrupted education matters more than a girl’s right to learn without terror.

The Next Generation Is Watching

The current approach and response to these incidents is creating the next generation of men who view sexual violence as consequence-free entertainment. “Elite” schools and government institutions alike are sacrificing girls’ futures to protect institutional reputations and avoid difficult conversations.

These stories will continue flooding in until we fundamentally change our approach. Until schools prioritise the safety of girls over the convenience of boys. Until parents hold their sons accountable rather than looking for excuses. Until we all acknowledge that each “joke,” each threat, and each instance of harassment left inadequately addressed creates the foundation for the next generation of sexual violence.

The change starts with us refusing to accept anything less.

A Broader Perspective

While I’ve been inundated with emails about girls targeted by boys in sexualised ways, I also want to acknowledge another perspective from a mother who emailed me. Her words highlight a complex reality. She shared concerns about her son and his peers experiencing inappropriate behaviour from some girls, who use claims of feminism as a weapon.

It’s true. Some girls are behaving toxically towards boys. (Cue the accusations of “whataboutism”). A nuanced view must recognise that this is not just a gender issue. It’s a question of character, and both genders have their struggles in this regard. 

Three Principles That MUST Guide Our Response:

1. Zero tolerance for ALL boundary violations: Sexual aggression, threats, and unwanted touching must carry significant consequences regardless of who perpetrates them. Schools need crystal-clear policies that are actually enforced.
2. Parents must reclaim digital spaces: We cannot outsource our children’s sexual education to pornography and social media. Know what your child consumes online, have the uncomfortable conversations, and be the voice that drowns out the toxic noise.
3. Model what healthy respect looks like: Our children are watching how we speak about and treat the opposite gender. Every dismissive comment, every joke at another gender’s expense, every boundary we ourselves violate—they’re taking notes.

Conclusion

The chasm growing between teenage boys and girls isn’t inevitable. It’s the predictable result of our society’s collective abdication of responsibility. We’ve left them to navigate the most confusing aspects of human development with toxic influencers as their guides at a time when their brains are more sensitive to (and are shaped by) environmental inputs than almost any other time in their lives.

Our teenagers need us to step back into our role as parents and mentors before they learn to permanently fear and despise each other—a lesson that will shape not just their high school experience but potentially cast a long shadow into every relationship in their lives.