Is It Okay to Let Your Kid Have a Day Off from School?

A Slice of Advice on Kids Chucking a Sickie

Every parent faces the question: is it okay to let my kid have a day off from school? Striking the right balance between promoting regular attendance and allowing occasional mental health breaks can support a child’s academic and emotional well-being. By understanding the impacts of attendance and planning intentional breaks, parents can help their kids thrive.

The Link Between Attendance and Academic Success

There’s a relationship between how much your child attends school and their overall academic achievement. On average, we see that:

• Regular school attendance is strongly correlated with academic success. Children who attend school regularly are more likely to perform well academically, achieve higher grades, and complete their education.

• Chronic absenteeism, or prolonged periods of school absence, can have a negative impact on a child’s educational attainment. It may lead to learning gaps, decreased proficiency in core subjects, and lower chances of graduating from high school.

There’s also a relationship between attending school and social and emotional outcomes.

Social and Emotional Benefits of Regular Attendance

While school isn’t fabulous for every child – there are some real challenges for many kids – on average, we see that:

• Regular interaction with peers and teachers fosters social skills, emotional intelligence, and a sense of belonging.

When Missing School Becomes a Concern

Children who consistently have a day off from school may experience feelings of isolation, struggle with forming positive relationships, and face challenges in developing essential life skills. Additionally, school is often a place where students receive emotional support from educators and peers.

With two of our kids homeschooling, we’re seeing this as a significant challenge. The kids are well-adjusted and can do well socially. They just don’t have frequent interactions with others.

Additionally, on average, completing education is often associated with better employment prospects, higher earning potential, and an improved overall quality of life.

Children who miss substantial amounts of school may face difficulties transitioning to higher education or entering the workforce. This can limit their options and hinder their ability to pursue fulfilling and rewarding careers.

So, when the kids are asking for days off, what’s the best way forward?

When I was a kid, I wouldn’t even bother asking for a day off from school. Fortunately, during primary school, I felt good about being at school. But if I had tried to “chuck a sickie”, I suspect I would have been told to get up, get on with it, and “stop the acting”.

Supporting Consistent School Attendance While Allowing Breaks

A better solution to the proverbial “kick up the bum” lies in getting curious, not furious – in understanding, not reprimanding. When we explore (rather than explode), we gain perspective, and we open a dialogue that is more likely to lead to productive conversation and resolution.

Does Every Day Really Count?

Based on research from around the country and the world, most Australian states have a mantra (and a marketing message) that every day counts. QLD Education, for example, states on their website that:

“Every Day Counts is a state-wide initiative that aims to assist in improving student attendance at school through a shared commitment by students, parents, caregivers, schools, and the community.”

In real life, however, a day off for a sickie is unlikely to have any measurable impact on a student’s educational outcomes – or life outcomes. Multiple days, especially consecutive days, can be problematic. But a day off from school here or there is less about decimating learning outcomes for kids and more about:

• Making life harder for teachers who have to continually repeat work and try to help students catch up on missed content,
• Helping students with consistency, and
• Allowing parents to complete their responsibilities, that can often be completed only when kids are at school.

If your kids want a day off, consider the following:

Schedule Mental Health Days

Get ahead of the unexpected, random sickie by scheduling a mental health day once a term. This gives kids something to look forward to and maintains the importance of regular attendance while acknowledging the need for occasional respite. (If they need additional days off, we move to root causes.)

Understand the Real Reasons Behind Skipping School

If kids are pulling a “sickie”, understanding what’s really going on is vital. It’s obvious, but often we miss the mark on this. Sometimes kids choose not to tell us what’s really going on.

Do they need your attention because things aren’t good at home? Do they need your attention because things aren’t good at school? Are they saying they’re “sick”, but they’re struggling with a teacher, a peer, or a bully? Are they complaining about school, but they’re on their period and feel nervous about being at school at a sensitive time?

Pausing to really explore and understand is key.

Explore, Explain, Empower

When faced with the dilemma of kids wanting a day off, explore, explain, and empower. Discerning the underlying reasons, communicating a clear rationale for what you’re asking, and developing solutions together will usually be the best way forward. And if it’s something deeper (that could lead to school refusal), this process will generally help you discover that issue faster.

A well-timed “sickie” now and then can be a small price to pay for overall well-being, both academically and emotionally. Just as adults occasionally need a day off, our kids might too, with the right balance and understanding. Hopefully, though, not in week one.