5 Essential Conversations to Have with Your Teen Before Schoolies
As Schoolies Week approaches, the excitement among your Grade 12 school-leaver might be palpable. Amidst the buzz of bookings and plans, it’s natural to feel a sense of concern about the potential risks associated with this celebratory milestone. Perhaps you are wondering, “Should my kid go to schoolies?”. With safety being a top priority, it’s essential to have open conversations with your teen about their options and the importance of making informed choices.
“Should my Kid go to Schoolies?”
Schoolies is often painted by the media as a two-week party with school leavers diving into risky behaviours. From casual sex to binge drinking (particularly trendy drinks like Hard Solo) and even drug use.
It’s all true.
There’s another perspective though. Teens who want to go to schoolies – and many who are involved in the organisation of school leavers events – argue that “it’s not that bad”.
Reality check: it’s both.
For some teens, schoolies is all about unwinding with friends. Others may push boundaries, partying to excess. While some are indeed focused on having as much fun as possible—whatever that entails—the majority fall somewhere in the middle.
Understand the Reality of Schoolies
What do you need to know as a parent?
First, don’t live in denial. There is a huge amount of alcohol that is consumed at schoolies celebrations. Drugs and sex will be easily accessible, and while not the norm, there can also be incidents of violence. Sometime a person feels imposed upon or “needs” to dominate others.
Denial (thinking your kid won’t do anything risky or interact with anyone who is risky) can lead to missed conversations. Your child may be at a greater risk as a result. By acknowledging these realities, you open the door to meaningful, proactive talks.
Second, you need to have conversations with your child ahead of their schoolies trip if they’re heading away with friends. This is regardless of where they’re going.
The 5 Essential Schoolies Conversations
1/ Tell Me Why I Shouldn’t Be Worried
This question empowers your teen to consider their safety and well-being and encourages them to think proactively. Acknowledge the likelihood of alcohol, drugs, risky sex, and even violence. Let them outline their plans to stay safe.
2/ Just Call Me
Assure your child that if they find themselves in trouble, they can always call you, No. Matter. What. Better to be the first point of contact in an emergency than to rely on friends or others to assist them. They need to know that you won’t ask questions, make recriminations, or discipline them in any way. You’re their safe person if things go wrong.
3/ Check in Daily
Invite your child to give you a quick call each day to confirm things are “all good”. This is a no pressure call where you touch base and that’s all.
4/ Consent
Consent is the word on everyone’s mind right now. Be clear on what this means. (Hint: you both have to be enthusiastic about what you’re doing – now and when you reflect on it tomorrow or next year.) Consent is what you want and what they want.
Note: statistically, males in their late adolescent years are more likely than any other group to sexually assault someone. If you’re talking to your daughter about this topic (or a same-gender-attracted son), let them know that being nice and saying “no, I don’t want to” isn’t enough. For those in vulnerable situations, a calm “no” may not be effective. If it’s a definite “no,” encourage them to make it strong—a loud, unambiguous refusal, even a “Get off me!” if needed. This clarity can reduce risks, especially when alcohol or drugs are involved.
5/ Look Out For Your Mates
Schoolies is a group experience, and safety comes in numbers. Encourage them to watch out for friends, avoid leaving anyone alone, and step in if they see someone in a vulnerable position.
Final Thoughts for Parents
Being open and honest with your teen about what happens at schoolies. This helps you to:
- Be clear
- Be direct
- Be available
And it helps them be safe.
“Should my kid go to schoolies?”: Deciding whether your teen should attend schoolies is no small choice. By exploring alternative celebrations and having open conversations, you can help them make safe, positive decisions. Start the conversation today to ensure their transition to adulthood is celebrated with confidence, safety, and shared understanding.
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