3 Things Parents Need to Know About Schoolies

Your Grade 12 school-leaver might be hassling you right now. Schoolies Week is coming up later this year. Bookings need to be made. Commitments need to be locked in. Decisions need to be finalised. Time’s running out.

But you’re concerned. 

Schoolies doesn’t feel safe. You know that teens freely consume alcohol, engage in sex, and use illicit drugs during Schoolies. The week away is a taste of freedom in a hotbed of hormones. Your child is probably pretty sensible, but the risks are real.

Now your child is upping the pressure. 

Understanding the Appeal of Schoolies Week

It may feel like ‘everyone’ goes to Schoolies Week. It could be that “all” of your children’s friends are going to Schoolies. 

News Flash: Schoolies is not a compulsory rite of passage for teens.

Here are two things to consider.

1/ Create Alternatives

Understanding why your kids want to attend Schoolies will help you have better conversations. The attraction of Schoolies for teens is obvious—it’s a milestone, a celebration of independence, and a chance to revel in newfound adulthood. 

However, many parents easily find alternatives. 

• Many parents, assuming they have the resources, take their kids on a special celebratory getaway. Three dads I know teamed up and took their sons on a 6-person father-and-son adventure to the west coast of the USA for two weeks. The boys and their dads each set goals, saved, and had the trip of a lifetime—and the time of their lives. 

• Many churches and community groups often organise Schoolies trips for like-minded youth and young people. They head to a destination that is less “Schoolies-oriented” and have a celebration that meets all of the usual expectations without the risks.

Talk with your child about alternatives that feel good for you both. Options abound.

2/ Have The Right Conversations

If your child is committed to a Schoolies celebration and you can live with that, start talking about things now. Get in early. Pre-arm your kids. Give the ideas you’re discussing time to distil. 

Making Safe, Healthy Decisions

Your first conversation is about making safe, healthy decisions. Don’t discuss right and wrong, good or bad. Many kids find the moral element challenging and resist that language. Shifting the conversation from moral judgments to discussions centred on safety and health improves how well teenagers perceive advice. It’s about guiding them toward making choices that prioritise their well-being without dismissing their experiences or curiosities.

Discussing Consent

Your second conversation has to revolve around consent. The message is simple: ensure both parties are genuinely enthusiastic and comfortable—excited about any physical interactions. And if someone is not respecting consent, your child should not just say, “I don’t want to do this”, a little more loudly. They need to escalate their refusal from a 2 out of 10 to an 8 out of 10. Fast. Loud. Clear. Practise it with them. Hammer this home.

Let’s extend the sex and physical contact conversation a little more. Encouraging abstinence might not be a popular stance, but it’s a crucial part of the conversation. Kids need to know that saying “no” is valid and that they possess the agency to abstain. They’re in charge of their bodies. Strangers are not welcome. Relationships are best when time is given to making them healthy. Abstinence is an option—a good one.

Providing Support

The third conversation is vital. Your child must know you’re available to help at any time. No judgement. No accusation. Just help. They will often do better calling you than relying on friends whose judgement and decision-making capacity might be impaired. Promise them you’re available and safe to talk to.

Ultimately, navigating Schoolies Week is about empowering your child with the knowledge and support they need to celebrate safely. Open dialogues and exploring alternatives can help you both feel confident in their choices. Start these crucial conversations today to ensure your teen has a memorable and safe celebration.